As a person with blindness, I had always reacted with uncertainty when a stranger held my hand.

Of course, there’re occasions when help would be a relief, particularly in crowded bus sheds, where people tend to rush towards a standing bus and fail to notice even a two-metre-long white stick visible even from a distance. In their haste to catch the bus, they’d nudge or slap the stick out of my hand, leaving me helplessly stranded.

But not all strangers make you comfortable

As I searched for an address in the heart of Chennai city, someone held my hand without talking to me. A whiff of alcohol was wafting from his direction, which immediately triggered panic. Also, I felt his fingers uncomfortably close to my gold ring. He was trying remove it from my left ring finger…or so I thought.

Getting into a bus, putting distance between that person and myself, I was overcome with relief. Because I wouldn’t like to be perceived as an easy prey for muggers, yet, with my blindness, muggers would be bold enough to try snatching my ring or wallet.

But the other, much saner side of me, was chiding me for being unnecessarily paranoid. From my experience of roaming around alone, I knew that alcoholics never stole things or disturbed other people. Yes, you see them ‘list to port’ as they walked or even fall down on the edge of the footpath. But they were barely a threat to others, especially those with disability. In fact, I remember an extremely drunk man holding my hand and beating his chest, a gesture I interpreted as his way of morning my misfortune.

The reality is, as a person with disability, I always had discomfort trusting strangers. But I’d be wary about sweet talkers who could sometimes sound too sugary for my comforts. And even too altruistic. Like this auto-rickshaw driver who gripped my hand and began walking me towards his vehicle in a desperate way to beat the competition, without bothering to ask my permission if he could hold my hand. But all along, he was extolling the pure heartedness of a person with disability and how people like him should consider it their duty to serve us.

When he dropped me home, he was arguing vociferously about a twenty-rupee tip which he said he earned by serving me.

For people with disability, trusting people around them, especially strangers would be a challenge.

Here’re some tips on how people with disability can manage themselves in crowded places.

*Tell the stranger helping you to verbalize their action. If people tell you that they are taking you to the bus shed, a shopping mall or, quite simply, walking you across the road, they should first have your permission and clarity on what you want. Engage them in a conversation. If they don’t listen to you, ask them to leave you alone.

*Make sure they don’t take you away from busy areas, such as in an empty alleyway. Insist that you need to stay in the busy street.

*Keep your mobile phone handy. If you need to dial the police or the nearest friend/relative, you should be able to speed-dial them.

*Don’t hesitate to ask for help from others if the person helping you doesn’t listen to your needs.

*Have a clear plan in terms of how you would like to tackle an awkward situation with a stranger. We all are different personalities in our own right and we each might like to handle the situation in our own way. A plan gives you better control over the situation.

We need to remember that no one can take decision making away from us. So, it’s important we remain assertive, confident and don’t give out nervousness.

Half the battle is in the mind and if we win the mental battle, we win the war.